I always thought ageing would come with wisdom, calmness, maybe a little grey hair and some joint pain.
What I didn’t expect that waking up at 45 feeling like my brain was a browser with 47 tabs open, 12 frozen, and music playing from somewhere I couldn’t find.

This wasn’t midlife.
This was perimenopause—the underrated, misunderstood hormonal tornado that hits women between 40 to 50, usually right when careers peak and responsibilities explode.

And honestly?
No one prepares you.
Not your mother, not your doctor, not the organisation you give your blood and sweat to… not even Google (at least not in the way you need to hear it).

But sometimes life gives you a friend-decoder.

For me, that decoder has been Priya—my friend of 30 years, who has seen me through breakups, bad bosses, and borderline psychotic PMS. But even she wasn’t herself ready for the version of ours that perimenopause unlocked for both of us.

Picture this.

It’s Monday morning.
We’re in a meeting room with the AC on full blast.
Everyone else is wearing jackets.

And I…
I’m SWEATING like I ran a marathon through the Sahara.

My boss asks, “So, Mam, what’s the status on the Q4 pipeline?”

What I want to say: “Give me two minutes, I’m melting inside.”
What my brain is doing: buffering.
What came out of my mouth:
“Why don’t YOU open the sheet if you want it so urgently?”

Later that day, I drag myself to bed and whisper,
“What was THAT? You almost ate him alive!”

And I whispered back,
“I think my hormones have started their own startup.”

Perimenopause is the trial version of menopause—full features, no instruction manual.

It usually starts between 40 and 47, and the symptoms are basically a mystery box:

• Mood swings that could star in Bollywood thrillers
• Hot flashes that turn conference rooms into steam rooms
• Brain fog that makes you forget why you walked into your own cabin
• Fatigue like someone drained your battery to 3%
• Irritation that appears even when someone breathes too loudly
• Sleep disturbances that make you binge-think till 3 AM

It’s like puberty… but with EMIs, deadlines, ageing parents, incompetent juniors, and a job with unrealistic KPIs.

We both sat down and started talking and relating various situations we have been in last one year now.

It was just five minutes before a client meeting, Priya felt her throat tighten, heart race, palms sweat, and mind went blank. She shared that her body decided this was the perfect moment for a hormonal breakdown.

But career?
Career doesn’t care.
You still have to smile, present, convince, perform.
And somehow I got it , she said.

Then I immediately recalled the incidence…..

One evening, I sat in my car and cried because the traffic light turned red just when I reached.
Priya called.
“What happened??”
“I… don’t know. The signal betrayed me.”

we both laughed so hard the we almost choked — and honestly, I felt I am losing mind with such drastic triggers on small things.

Because let’s be honest — as working women, especially breadwinners, we don’t get the luxury of “taking a break to deal with hormones.”

We don’t get pauses.
We don’t get excuses.
We don’t get slow days.

So we have to get smart.

Perimenopause is not a weakness.
It’s not drama.
It’s not instability.

It’s a phase — like pregnancy, like puberty, like grief, like healing.
And when workplaces and partners learn to understand it, women can continue to lead, create, build, and shine without slowing down.

Women in their 40s bring unmatched wisdom, experience, maturity, intuition, and grit.
No hormone shift can take that away.

And as for me?

I’m still the firecracker I’ve always been — just one who now knows when to light the spark and when to breathe, sip chai, laugh with her friends, and let the body adjust.