(In search we find the way)

In the whirlwind of modern relationships, being a successful and happy couple is no easy feat. As a Gen X navigating love in the era of swipes and hashtags, I’ve learned that while every love story is unique, there are universal truths that underpin lasting happiness and connection.

My story begins on an ordinary Friday night, scrolling through Netflix. I stumbled upon “Mismatched,” a delightful series that mirrored our own quirks and conflicts. As I binged through the episodes, I couldn’t help but reflect on the dos and don’ts of relationships portrayed onscreen. It’s funny how a show—or even a Bollywood movie like “Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani” or “Tamasha”—can hold a mirror to your life, making you question what it truly means to feel understood in a relationship.

Do: Communicate, But Listen More

One of the key takeaways from “Mismatched” was the importance of communication. Dimple and Rishi’s relationship struggled not because they didn’t talk, but because they often spoke past each other. I have had my share of miscommunications through out my relationship. Like the time I thought that his silent treatment meant he didn’t care, while in reality, he was overwhelmed and needed space.

Over time, we learn the art of active listening. Instead of preparing rebuttals while the other spoke, we need to practice being present. It’s not just about hearing words; it’s about understanding the emotions behind them. One of my friend once said, “When we listen to our partner, it’s not to fix things; it’s to feel with them.” That’s when we know we are on the right path.

Don’t: Let Ego Take the Driver’s Seat

Bollywood has its fair share of love stories derailed by ego. Remember “Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna”? Ego can turn lovers into adversaries. Early in most relationships, we all have massive fights over something as trivial as choosing a restaurant or whether we need to go out or stay back at home , neither of us wants to back down. It usually takes a cold war and a heartfelt apology (with a cheesy playlist) to remind us that love isn’t a competition.

Ego is the enemy of understanding. It blinds us to the needs of the other person and turns disagreements into battles for supremacy. We need to learn to catch ourselves when pride rears its head. Now, their is a simple mantra to this: “It’s us against the problem, not each other.”

Do: Celebrate Individuality

Watching “Tamasha” was a revelation. Ved and Tara’s journey taught us that a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself. When I started dating, I’d often cancel all my other plans with friends or skill development etc… to spend more time with him. Over time, I realized I was losing touch with my own world.

Healthy relationships are about two whole individuals coming together, not two halves completing each other. We need to encourage each other to pursue our passions. Our personal joys enriches our bond because we have more to share, and more to celebrate.

Don’t: Take Each Other for Granted

If Bollywood’s tearjerkers have taught us anything, it’s the pain of realizing someone’s worth too late. In “Kal Ho Naa Ho,” Aman’s selfless love left a lasting impression on Naina. It’s easy to fall into routines and assume your partner will always be there.

We need to take break from the monotony by injecting spontaneity into our lives. From surprise notes in lunchboxes to impromptu weekend getaways, we need to make an effort to keep the spark alive. Gratitude becomes a cornerstone of such relationships. We learn to say “thank you” for even the smallest gestures, like brewing a morning coffee or folding the laundry.

Do: Embrace Conflict, But Resolve It Well

No relationship is without conflict. Dimple and Rishi’s clashes in “Mismatched” reminded me of my own struggles. Conflict isn’t a sign of a weak relationship; it’s an opportunity for growth. What matters is how you handle it.

We need to set few ground rules: no name-calling, no bringing up the past, and no going to bed angry. We also learn to apologize sincerely. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” can be more powerful than a grand romantic gesture.

Don’t: Compare Your Relationship

Social media is a double-edged sword. Scrolling through Instagram, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your relationship to others. We might develop a feeling of being inadequate because a friend’s couple photos made their life look picture-perfect.

At such moments we need to remind ourselves that comparison is the thief of joy. Every relationship is a work in progress, with its own story, challenges, and triumphs. Instead of envying others, we focused on celebrating our journey, flaws and all.

Do: Prioritize Emotional Safety

Feeling understood in a relationship goes beyond words; it’s about emotional safety. In a relationship we need to create a space where one could share their insecurities without fear of judgment. When one admits their struggles with career pressure or personal emotions, we need to learn to be their anchor rather than their critic.

This emotional safety allows one to be vulnerable, deepening one’s connection. As Bollywood’s countless rain-drenched confessions show, vulnerability is the bedrock of love.

Don’t: Ignore the Importance of Fun

Love isn’t all serious talks and deep connections. It’s also about laughter, playfulness, and shared adventures. Dimple and Rishi’s banter in “Mismatched” reminded us to keep things light. From goofy dance-offs in the kitchen to inside jokes, we need to find joy in the little things.

As Gen X , we often juggle demanding careers, family expectations, and personal goals. But amidst all this, we need to learn that happiness in a relationship comes from carving out moments of pure fun.

The Bollywood Finale

Being a successful and happy couple isn’t about grand romantic gestures or picture-perfect moments. It’s about the everyday acts of love, understanding, and effort. Like in “Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara,” where love is about shared experiences and mutual growth, in a relationship we strive to build a it where we feel truly understood.

Our journey is far from perfect. We’re all always learning, growing, and occasionally stumbling. But what matters is that we’re in it together, holding hands through the highs and lows.

As I write this, I remember a small gesture by my father of making a cup of tea for my mom every morning, as his way of saying, “I see you, I’m here for you.” And in that moment, they both know that they are on the path to being their version of a successful and happy couple, one day at a time.