While growing up I always felt that our emotions are just not a matter of concern for our elders. We Gen X, have witnessed profound changes in the globe, particularly in the areas of technology, society, and the economy. As we grew up during a transition from analogue to digital, landlines to smartphones, and the start of an emotional revolution from stiff-upper-lip stoicism. The urge to be genuinely heard, however, has been a recurrent topic in my life throughout the years.

I believe that we all are made somewhat similar yet unique and we can be understood more easily by the era we come from. This distinction can be understood from the below table:

Emotions were not generally recognised when I was growing up in the late 1970s and early 1980s, especially the “difficult” ones. No matter how severe the internal conflict, it was expected of people to suppress their emotions and persevere. Vulnerability was frowned upon, crying was viewed as weakness, and asking for assistance while experiencing emotional difficulties was shamed upon. Nearly always unheard, this generation grew up with a lot of vacuum inside them. There just weren’t the discussions about boundaries, self-compassion, and mental health that we have today. I frequently ponder how things would have turned out if we had the same level of emotional intelligence as we do now.

This lack of awareness made a lasting impression on most of us. We grew up feeling invisible and misunderstood, as if our inner life’s didn’t quite align with what was expected of us. According to the conventional paradigm of “getting over it,” we were supposed to suppress our feelings and move on without recognising or dealing with them. This consequently developed a desire for but infrequent access to the art of self-expression. We were not provided with the words to articulate our feelings, thus the language of emotions felt alien.

Today’s environment, where people talk about their feelings more freely and treat mental health seriously, inspires me and makes me regret things at the same time. A gift that we never received was granted to millennials and Generation Z: the freedom to feel, think, and develop without feeling guilty. With the help of this emotional toolkit, they are learning about themselves, their needs, and how to establish boundaries that safeguard their wellbeing. Observing this younger generation makes me wonder how my journey could have turned out if I had received such encouragement.

Many people in our generation experienced spiritual development later in life, perhaps as a result of therapy or a self-discovery trip prompted by life’s obstacles. It has been both freeing and intimidating to untangle years of suppressed emotions, unlearn repression patterns, and learn how to speak honestly. In my opinion, we could have progressed spiritually more easily if emotional awareness and acceptance had been the standard from the beginning.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” — C.S. Lewis

So, as we start NOW with a smart approach and utilise the current environment to our advantage with the intent to transform us, through learning that it’s never too late to heal and grow, with emotional awareness being the key to living more authentic and satisfying lives, here are some ways through which we can unlearn and learn:

1. Challenge the “Just Get Over It” Mentality
2. Adopt an Emotional Vocabulary
3. Practice Self-Compassion
4. Learn to Set Boundaries
5. Replace Stoicism with Vulnerability
6. Focus on Self-Care as a Necessity, Not a Luxury
7. Seek Therapy or Counseling
8. Practice Mindfulness and Staying Present
9. Reframe Failure and Mistakes
10. Embrace Continuous Learning and Growth

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Though we had these amazing quotes from 1880’s still the path to achieve this is made simpler with technology awareness and emotional acceptance now with easy accessiblilty to people at large.