Knowing who we really are is one of life’s greatest challenges. Our identities are influenced by society, education, culture, and family from an early age. However, beneath all of those exterior layers is a deeper version of ourselves, our true selves, the things that make us special. For a long time I have wondered : Who am I really? Did I doubt myself a lot or was I the self-assured lady who could take on challenges? Did my past experiences determine me, or was there something more fundamental at play? Though these questions still persist but somewhere, I have come to the conclusive mindset that identifying our true selves involves more than just labelling ourselves; it also entails removing the layers of patterns that conceal who we really are.

How Do We Identify Our Personality?

The first step in discovering our inner personality is awareness. Too often, we move through life on autopilot, repeating responses and habits without pausing to ask, “Is this really me?” To identify our personality, we need to observe ourselves without judgment.

• Notice emotional triggers: What excites us, what angers us, what makes us feel at peace? Our repeated emotional reactions reveal a lot about our personality.
• Look at recurring choices: The jobs we choose, the friendships we maintain, even the hobbies we enjoy—these often point to our inner self.
• Reflect on values: At our core, what do we stand for? Compassion, freedom, growth, discipline—our values form the backbone of our personality.

Self-reflection through journaling, meditation, or even conversations with trusted friends can help us see patterns that are otherwise hidden in daily rush.

What Shapes Our Personality?

Personality is not born in isolation. It is shaped by a blend of experiences, influences, and inner tendencies. Three major forces often play a role:

1. Upbringing and environment: The household we grew up in, the way love and discipline were given, and the early narratives we heard about ourselves build strong personality imprints.
2. Experiences and traumas: Joyful or painful events can leave marks on our personality. For instance, repeated criticism might push someone into becoming overly defensive, while early encouragement may nurture boldness.
3. Innate tendencies or soul impressions: Many believe we carry traits from past lives—unfinished lessons and strengths we are meant to grow in this lifetime. These tendencies can influence our reactions and instincts beyond what environment explains.

Understanding these forces allows us to see why we are the way we are—without guilt, but with compassion.

Differentiating Personality from Patterns

The turning point for me was learning to differentiate between what belongs to my authentic self and what belongs to my patterns. I discovered that my real personality always feels light, natural, and aligned. When I am being myself, I feel at ease, even if things around me are difficult. Patterns, on the other hand, feel heavy, repetitive, and draining. They keep dragging me back into the same loops of frustration or guilt.

For example, when I write from my heart, time flows and I feel alive—that’s my authentic self. But when I overthink every word, fearing how people will judge me, I know I am trapped in an old pattern of insecurity.

How to Get Over Limiting Patterns

Breaking free from intimidating patterns is not about harsh discipline; it is about gentle, conscious effort.

1. Acknowledge the pattern: Awareness is half the healing. Denying or suppressing patterns only gives them more power.
2. Trace their origin: Understand where the pattern comes from—a childhood need, a protective habit, or a fear. This takes away the shame and brings compassion.
3. Replace with conscious choices: Each time the pattern surfaces, pause and choose a different response, even in small steps. Over time, new habits rewire the mind.
4. Seek tools for inner growth: Practices like meditation, therapy, or spiritual guidance can help in loosening the grip of old programming.
5. Celebrate progress: Every time you respond differently, you are reclaiming your authentic self.

The more I reflect, the more I see that life itself is about these patterns. They are not accidents. They are teachers. Each recurring situation is an opportunity to grow wiser.

I’ve watched people around me live in cycles—whether it’s repeating relationship mistakes, falling into financial struggles, or constantly battling self-doubt. At first, it can seem frustrating, but when I shift perspective, I see these loops as spiritual classrooms.

For me, breaking patterns is not just about feeling lighter in this life—it is also about enriching the soul for the next one. Every time I recognize a pattern and rise above it, I sense a kind of wisdom settling inside me. It feels like preparing my soul to carry more light forward, beyond this lifetime.

In the end, i can just conclude and say that discovering our true personality is less about becoming someone new but it’s more about uncovering the self that was always there—waiting patiently beneath the noise, ready to shine.