(Fear of Missing Out)

In simple terms – FOMO is the fear that something better is going on somewhere and we aren’t a part of it, whether it’s about missing out on a trip, a social event, or even the newest trends.

Our thoughts are 90% driven by fear and 10% by desires and thus this FOMO is becoming the root cause of anxious & avoidant attachment behavioral pattern amongst people at large.

Does FOMO apply’s to relationship’s? Yes, FOMO applies to romantic relationship’s too but with a different context here it become FOBO (Fear of Better Options), where one partner is anxious about that while being in this relationship, he/she is missing out on a better option. This is the cause that in today’s world we see people avoid commitments, they compare themselves with other couples and perpetual dating etc. To my understanding I can say that too much of propaganda on SELF-LOVE and INDEPENDENT life stature makes ones always dissatisfied even when you know that with your plus & minus you fix in best with your partners plus & minus.

The other side of FOBO is where one partner develops an anxiety that my partner is having too many options around him/her and as I am unable to give what I should be giving to this relationship the other person might opt for another partner if given a chance.

I have analyzed my own thoughts and the people around me and I can say that this fear in our thoughts is the majorly caused of unrealistic expectations & constant validation-seeking.

How to overcome? “Being totally present and involved with the people you’re with will help you feel less inadequate and stop comparing yourself to other people all the time.” Some strategies for the same can be:

1. Appreciate the Present moment : Feel & Practice Gratitude
2. Limit Social Media Exposure : 30 minutes a day
3. Deepen your connections : Clear & Open Communication
4. Being Polite & treat others equal: most difficult one

The top 3 are self understandable and we mostly know how & why it needs to be done, but the 4th one is a major cause of conflict these days.

A feminine & masculine is not just two bodies but two energies that live inside each soul. With the essence of our upbringing, self awareness, self-love and being independent etc., this makes our personality and these days proving our personality stronger over the other is overgrowing in almost everyone. Which is causing the imbalance to the structure of a relationship that is built & perceived by society at large from centuries.

For example : If their is a fight in a male partner & a female partner, a male partner who has higher masculine energy will make each conversation a winning battlefield, because that they have been trained to do since we were monkey’s, that’s the survival mode of a male. Now, if this male creature has been designed to operate this ways, and this person is not evolved in handling relationships in todays changing scenario he will keep on doing this as this gives power to his ego. This is unintentional, this is his immediate response action, but his ego wont let him admit or correct it. Very rarely a male with high masculinity is able to break this, it can only happen when he genuinely does a 24 by 7 conscious effort.

On the other hand females survival mode has been adaptive responses, women historically survived patriarchal control by adhering to societal expectations of obedience, often enduring harsh treatment or limited freedoms. This strategy of submission was sometimes the only way to avoid severe punishment or violence in rigid patriarchal systems.

But now if a women is evolved, which is a result of few decades of work by men & women both for women upliftment, she has now developed a masculine energy too, which means she will also start taking each conversation a winning battlefield.

So, the question arises is how will the relationship’s survive now? How will we not give air to our anxieties & fears, when we ourselves changed the nomenclature of centuries for women, without setting any guidelines for men at large right from their upbringing & self-development? – answer is by being Polite & Treating other Partner Equal (it applies for both men & women)