We all are human beings and being tolerant is what we are taught in almost all cultures and countries, as we are told that is the way mankind & society is build. But when we are growing no one teaches us that being tolerant and pleasing people to avoid conflicts are two different things. No one teaches when to draw the line, some parents or guardians must have taught that, but at large we all are naive and learn from making mistakes.

To my experience and understanding its mostly like an illusionary harmony, and we forget the core reason of people-pleasing is driven by a desire for acceptance and validation. in general the one’s who engage in this are often prioritizing others’ needs and opinions over their own, fearing rejection or disapproval. By avoiding any kind of conflict and striving to please others, an individual may experience temporary relief from anxiety and discomfort. However, this harmony is superficial and fragile, as it is built on a foundation of suppressed emotions and unmet needs.

Contrary to their apparent effectiveness in short-term harmony maintenance, people-pleasing and conflict avoidance, are frequently harmful to long-term progress and personal development. We feel that by just avoiding a confrontation we are buying peace, but its not the case, these actions can ultimately impede a person’s emotional, psychological, and social development causing a detrimental effects.

After many years of doing such people pleasing with time I have learnt from my mistakes and here are the 10 ways through which we can surely correct the course:

1. Self-Awareness : Acknowledge that yes I do it.
2. Understand the triggers : Why do I do it and In what circumstances?
3. Set boundaries : Learn to set and communicate healthy boundaries with others.
4. Practice Saying “No” without hurting anyone : Assert you preference but do not insult or hurt other (if other person understands)
5. Reframe conflict : Change your perspective to view at a conflict as a growth & understanding opportunity.
6. Self Validation : Self Love , Self forgiveness, Self Awareness etc.. U need only ur own approval no one elses.
7. Emotional Resilience : Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and positive self-talk can be helpful.
8. Self – Reflection : Regularly reflect on ur actions and decisions. Follow A-game strategy
9. Seek Support : Move in group of people who are intelligent and more mindful then oneself, it will give u the needed guidance. Choose ur company very wisely.
10. Celebrate small-wins : Reinforce your decision by celebrating small steps that you take on daily basis.

I feel that we can progressively break free from the people-pleasing and conflict-avoidance tendencies by regularly putting these tactics into practice. This will enable us to live a more genuine, independent, and satisfying life.