The practice of bringing up other people’s names and engaging in gossip about their personal lives is very common and still complex web of social interactions. It is not just a harmless habit but if done frequently, it is a purposeful or subconscious way of controlling circumstances, perhaps motivated by ignorance or the desire to control other people. When we are trying to navigate through our relationships and we intend to shield oneself from potential emotional injury we facilitate it by knowing the underlying causes of such behaviours and how to spot their symptoms.

When I tried to understand the dynamics of this, I realised that it is an act of bringing up particular individuals or facts in talks in order to obtain social leverage on one’s own standing. The desire to be viewed as more intelligent or connected than others frequently drives this behaviour. On the contrary, gossip is the informal, unrestrained discussion about other individuals, which comprises of unsubstantiated details. When a person combines these two actions to provide a complicated social dynamic where the person disclosing the information could be seen as an insider or authority figure.

Is it Ignorance or Manipulation?

When it comes to rumours and mentioning names, there’s is a fine line between ignorance and deceit. Wherein, ignorance is defined as not knowing how much harmful or dangerous disclosing private information can be, and the damage it can cause to the relationship by violating trust.

On the other hand, manipulation involves a deliberate effort. It is said that a manipulator is one who employs name-dropping and gossip frequently, and does so to shape perceptions, control stories, or obtain an edge in social or professional contexts. Such a person intends to take advantage of people’s faith and trust for one’s own benefit, this behaviour is very damaging.

Why do people do that? What’s the psychology behind the same?

This is purely my perception and based on the experience I had with such kind of people, I believe that there are many different and frequently intricate reasons why people gossip and dump names, some them are :

1. Because they are Insecure and use the knowledge to cover up their weaknesses.
2. It brings them some kind of motivation which this desire to fit in with a certain group or seek validation.
3. Some people just don’t understand the whole extent of the consequences of what they do.
4. Some feel they are imparting knowledge or forming connections.
5. Some just do it intentionally for their personal/professional gains.

Can we change the path?

For those who do it : Being conscious is the first step towards change. We must recognise the effects of such behaviour is the first step towards transformation. They must do a conscious effort to not do such acts and try to work on their weaknesses. We all have the weakness of doing gossip, but how we can control that urge is the strength we need to develop, it will not only increase our productivity but give us less amount of stress and negativity.

For those who are impacted by : Learn to establish boundaries, restricting the information exchanged, boldly confronting the gossip mongere and asking for help when necessary.

The subtleties of name-dropping and gossip emphasise how critical it is to comprehend the reasons behind these actions. The effects on people and relationships can be severe, regardless of whether the cause is deception or ignorance. We can build a more dependable and encouraging social environment by raising awareness and promoting polite conversation. The pursuit of more positive connections ultimately starts with each person’s dedication to honesty and compassion in their dealings with others.